When I started my leave of absence last fall, my goal was to improve my golf game as much as possible. Another goal was to find something I was passionate about that I could work on as a career after golf. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I haven’t posted in a few months and that’s because I’ve found that next thing, and it’s a dating app called Spottle.
Spottle Logo
I first got in touch with the Spottle team in December and learned that they were working on a dating app based on live video chats. I was very intrigued because it was a space I had been interested in for years. Eventually I signed on and that decision has completely shifted my priorities. While my handicap index is below 6 and I’m playing better than ever, I moved back to DC a few weeks ago so I can have a bigger impact with Spottle.
Why the change from golf to a dating app?
Some have sounded disappointed that I’m cutting my 12 months of golf short and “giving up” on it. Here’s the thing. Golf will always be there, but the Spottle opportunity wont. Spottle is something that I believe in. It will help people make better connections more efficiently and effectively, and will make them happier as a result. And I want to make it a success.
What is Spottle?
It’s a dating app that’s a mix of virtual spin the bottle and speed dating. Instead of ‘liking’ profiles based on a few pictures and a bio, users spin a bottle and when it lands, have a 30 second live video chat with another user before deciding if it’s worth continuing the conversation. The video chats only happen at set times throughout the week so this can’t turn into a major time suck. We also have facial recognition which will prevent this from becoming the next Chat Roulette.
Here are a few Spottle screenshots
The goal is to get a real impression of someone before spending time texting or meeting up in real life. We want to reduce catfishing and improve safety by making online dating much more transparent.
If you know anyone who spends too much time on dating apps or has lost faith in dating, see if they want to give Spottle a try by downloading here: get.spottle.app!
What’s the skill that you most recently worked on? How long did it take for you to start improving? Were your results uniformly better, or did you still revert back to poor performance often?
There’s no doubt that I am a much better golfer than I was a few months ago. My swing is different, my short game has improved, and my decision making is better. My handicap is now trending below 6. I’m hitting more fairways and green and record fewer putts.
But as I improve, so do my expectations. And unfortunately, golf is a sport where some days it clicks, and some days it doesn’t. So even though I feel like I should par or birdie every hole and shoot in the 70s every round, I still play poorly pretty often.
Some rounds I can’t hit the ball straight, other rounds I can’t get up and down (when you miss the green with your approach shot, but get the ball in the hole with 1 chip and 1 putt), and then there are the rounds where I have a bunch of 3-putts.
These are my most recent scores.
So even though I’m 100% better, I still shot 85 or higher in 6 of my last 15 rounds. That’s super frustrating.
When I play and it all clicks, it’s incredible. I feel like I’ve finally figured it all out, only to card an 87 the next day. I still have not yet had back-to-back rounds in the 70s.
This whole experiment wouldn’t work if I was addicted to playing well. I would have already quit because I don’t play well often enough (yet). Fortunately, it’s the challenge, improvement, and game itself that I love and brings me back each day.
Focus on the challenge and the future
It’s not easy improving a skill as an adult. We don’t like being bad and the learning/improving process is easier done as a child. But we still CAN learn new things. Whether it’s a new language, card game, cooking, excel, networking, or golf, I’ve found it’s best to focus on the challenge and where you want to be in the future, rather than how well you perform on any given day.
With golf it’s easy and hard. Your handicap objectively measures your results over time, but you also see your rounds bounce up and down every day. AND your score doesn’t even always reflect how well you played. Some days I hit the ball great but shoot 84, and other days I feel like I’m playing poorly and end up with a 77. That’s golf.
No matter what you’re trying to improve, figure out a way to objectively measure your performance over time. But don’t be discouraged when your results don’t consistently exceed your expectations. Life isn’t that smooth or predictable, and it wouldn’t be fun if it was.
2018 was a huge year for me. I made some big decisions, saw some amazing places, and made countless memories with friends and family. Here are some of the biggest things I learned over the past 12 months.
1. I wasn’t aggressive enough in pursuing my future in prior years
I was at my consulting job for 5 years. At first, my plan was to transfer from DC to NY, but I loved DC so that didn’t happen. I already had a Master of Management from business school and didn’t plan on going back for an MBA. I thought I’d find a startup to join but didn’t fully commit to that. At one point in 2014/2015 I interviewed with a few tech companies in NY and SF but nothing panned out.
Then it got to a point where I was on auto pilot. Work had cycles of being rewarding and then soul crushing, but I had amazing friends and a great life. I didn’t have enough of a fire under my seat to make real moves, but I should have.
I turned 29 last March. This was a huge reason why I made the leap this year to pursue golf. I’ll be 30 soon and that’s pretty scary for me. If you’re interested in learning more about the significance of beginnings/endings/anything related to timing, take a look at Daniel Pink’s “When.” Super interesting. Long story short, I was more motivated to make a change, so I did.
I should have been more aggressive in pursuing my future a few years ago. I could have had just as much fun but been more intentional with my plan. Better late than never, and now my foot is on the gas pedal.
Photo by Blake Cheek on Unsplash
2. My biggest fears about leaving my job to pursue a dream were gone a few months into the journey
Before I decided to pursue golf, I considered taking a LOA to travel the world. I started thinking about this in 2014/2015 but didn’t take any action. There are many different reasons to leave a job (travel, pursue a dream, start a company, etc), but I think a lot of the fears we have are the same:
I wouldn’t be maximizing my professional growth if I stopped working.
Promotions and raises? I have a new definition for professional growth now. Where do I want to be in 2, 5, 10, 20 years? If I keep advancing down a path that I don’t want, is that making progress? If I advance slightly slower because I take some time to re-evaluate my future, isn’t that maximizing my professional growth?
All of my peers will be advancing in their careers while mine is on hold.
You won’t be promoted after you leave work and your friends and coworkers will continue to advance. That’s okay. While you won’t be advancing in the career you had, you will be gaining additional perspective, have time to learn new things and meet new people, and will advance your LIFE. By not making a change, you are giving all of this up.
Most of the time, we can go back to what we were doing before or at least something similar. Trying new things brings new knowledge, experiences, and networks that you wouldn’t otherwise have. I might have a better shot at winning the lottery than becoming a pro golfer, but I know the odds. I want an exciting life. It’s hard to truly impress and excite yourself if you don’t try things where failure is strong possibility.
3. If you don’t know exactly what you want to do in the next few years and beyond, it’s okay to throw a bunch of stuff at the wall to see what sticks
I knew I wanted to do something different but wasn’t sure what. In the spring of 2018 I gave myself a date of November 1, 2018 to make a move and I picked golf.
While this is my focus, I also have a lot of time to work on plan b. What is plan b? I’m not sure yet, but it’s going to be one of the dozen other things I’m working on this year. Making time for a few different things is difficult but I’ve made it work by blocking space on my calendar.
If you don’t know what you want to do (but know you want to do something different), make a list of things you might want to do and actually start one! Write the book about your experience, produce a beat and post it to your Soundcloud, or start volunteering. If one fails, move on and pick another!
For years I’ve kept a list of business ideas and projects in my phone and, until recently, they were just ideas. You don’t need to leave your job to start a passion project or business, but you do need to carve out some time for it.
2019
Getting better at golf, and much more. Big things are coming, stay tuned!
This is the second swing analysis video that my coach, Wayne, put together. If you missed the first video analysis, you can view it here.
In this video I work on:
Simplifying my backswing by not over rotating
Maintaining width
Shallowing the club on the downswing
Getting my arms away from my body at address
The full swing analysis video is at the bottom of this post.
Shallowing the club
Of everything I’ve been working on, it’s been hardest to shallow the club. A lot of the other changes like going to an overlapping grip, having a neutral stance at address, and keeping my hands in front of the ball at impact have been relatively easy. So far I’ve been able to be slightly more shallow than before, but it’s still a work in progress.
We’ve worked on shallowing by doing a number of different drills, including pausing at the top of the backswing and trying to get the right elbow to make a new move down, trying to get the feel of throwing a baseball with a submarine motion, and using sticks in the ground to adjust the club path.
I used to just hit a ton of balls on the range. But now, even when I have something to focus on with my swing, I still spend over half my practice time working on chipping and putting.
While on the range I use alignment sticks to help with my aim at address, work on controlling the trajectory of the ball, and focus on shallowing the club to hit a draw. I still throw in a few intentional cuts to make sure my body remembers how to hit that shot, though.
Check out the full video below.
This swing analysis video from December 12, 2018 covers what I’ve been working on over the first month with Wayne.
The last time you got a haircut, did you tell the barber or stylist exactly what you wanted? Did you go to the same person you’ve gone to before? Or were you feeling adventurous enough to ask them to surprise you with a makeover? All of these set clear expectations
Have you ever received a haircut without communicating with the barber? Has anyone ever sat in the chair and had the barber start snipping away without knowing what he was going to do?
Probably not. At least, I hope not.
Golf is an amazing and amazingly frustrating game. Getting lessons is a great way to improve and achieve your goals. And just like a haircut, you should have clear communication about what you want to get out of the pro.
This is a screenshot from a video summarizing what I’ve been working on during my lessons. The left is from a month ago and the right is from this week.
What kind of lesson do you want?
You should know if you want to work on driving or putting, chipping or long irons, or another part of your game. But that’s just the beginning.
What’s your goal?
Do you want to learn to read greens or work on putting the ball straight? Do you want to learn how to properly chip or do you want to learn when to chip versus pitch? Do you want to learn to draw the ball or do you want to learn how to make adjustments on the course in the middle of a round? Are you trying to modify your current swing to make it more consistent or do you want to completely rebuild it? Are you willing to have multiple lessons over time or do you only want one?
The answer to the above questions matter. You might not have a definite answer, but tell your golf pro what you’re thinking so you’re on the same page.
Clear communication of your expectations is the fastest path to achieving your goals
For me, I didn’t want to just make a few minor tweaks to be more consistent. I wanted to rebuild the swing completely. Of course, there are parts of my swing that haven’t changed, but I was willing to take a few steps back to, hopefully, make a few giant leaps forward.
This is another screenshot from a video summarizing what I’ve been working on during my lessons. The left is from a month ago and the right is from this week.
Not everyone wants to go through the weeks, months, or even longer, of playing worse while they figure out a new swing. Some people just want to get rid of a slice. A pro can change you grip and swing path and fix your slice in a lesson or 2. That’s a lot faster, easier, and less frustrating than completely rebuilding a swing.
Nobody knows what’s in your head
This is relevant for so many things besides golf. Here are just a few examples where communicating your goals and expectations clearly can help you avoid bad and irrelevant advice, wasted time and money, and unnecessary mental fatigue.
Personal Trainer – Do you want to lose weight, get bigger, get stronger, be more flexible, learn how to recover, or learn how best to take care of your body?
Financial Advisor – Do you want to save for college or a bigger house, get advice on how you can get involved with philanthropy, make sure you leave money for your grandchildren, or learn about alternative investments?
Employee – Have you explicitly told your employee/subordinate what the priorities and deadlines are for today and the week, or are you assuming they already know?
Child/friend/parent – Do you want them to call you more often? What times work best for you?
Roommate – Do they know that you are trying to go to sleep earlier and that you can hear their tv at midnight, or are you just getting annoyed while laying in your bed?
Cleaning Service – Do you only want the surfaces and floor cleaned, or do you want them to scrub the tub and get the grime off the shelf in the fridge?
Mentor – Is this for advice on your current project, or are you hoping to get introductions to future opportunities?
Spouse – Are you trying to save more money this month? Do you want to eat healthier and be more active? Maybe you want to be more open and honest about how you feel with each other?
Key Takeaways
As you can see, setting clear expectations is important for every interaction you have. You can’t control everything, but you can control if someone knows your goals. The next time you are in a situation where you are interacting with another person, try to do the following to help stay on the most direct path towards success:
Know your goals. Think about what you want to get out of the interaction.
Communicate those goals and expectations clearly so everyone is on the same page.
Have any good stories about setting, or not setting, clear expectations? What was the outcome? I’d love to hear from you. Contact me at rosenbergmaxa@gmail.com.
It’s been a month since I moved to Florida to pursue golf. While I had goals, they were not good goals. I look back on November and can’t say whether or not is was a success, even though I definitely made progress. I didn’t have “November” goals. 30 days have passed, and even though I was very intentional with all of my time and practice, I could have been a lot better about evaluating my success.
I will change this in December by having SMART goals, writing them down, and sharing them with others.
What are your goals for December?
Before you continue reading, try writing down your December goals. Did you already have a list? Was it easy? Has thinking about them caused you to think about what you should be doing to attain those goals? That’s the point!
SMART Goals
Putting practice
Goals push you. They exist to prevent you from becoming complacent. They help you schedule and prioritize tasks and activities, and keep your foot on the gas pedal. Without good goals it’s easier to spend your time inefficiently, procrastinate, and ultimately not do what you set out to do. Try to have SMART goals, which are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-sensitive.
Specific
If you want to be more productive with your mornings, you might want to wake up earlier. But that is not specific. If you wake up at 5 am, it’s early. But what about 7:30 am, or 8:30 am? Is that early? Without a specific goal, it’s impossible to evaluate yourself. To make this one specific it should be something like “wake up by 7 am every morning.”
Measurable
Can the goal be objectively measured? There should be no debate if the goal was achieved or not. An example could be “go to the gym 3 days this week for at least 30 minutes.” When the week is over you can count to see if you achieved that goal.
Attainable
The goal should be reasonable. It shouldn’t be easy, but it shouldn’t be something like “win the lottery.” Yes, there’s a chance, but not really. They exist to stretch and make you better. If you’re looking for a new job it would be more reasonable to have a goal of “apply to 15 jobs this weekend” rather than “find and start a new job by next week.”
Relevant
This one might seem more obvious than the others but it’s still important. It ensures you spend your time making progress toward what you are trying to achieve. If you want to lose weight, eating 2 vegetarian meals each day would be relevant, but finishing this season of The Voice would not.
Time-sensitive
This is a deadline. The goal has to be achieved within a certain time period. Without a deadline, there’s less urgency to take action to accomplish the goal. Setting a deadline provides the structure to actually do whatever it is you want to do. While a deadline could be a date, it could also be an action. If you’ve ever told yourself “you can go out with your friends after you finish this project,” that is a time-sensitive and effective goal.
Write down your goals
Keep a notebook, google doc, or even the back of a used envelope to actually write down your goals. If you write them down, you are more likely to achieve them. Once you write them down, they are set. You will feel worse about adjusting them if you are momentarily lazy or unmotivated. If goals are only in your head, did they even really exist?
Make your goals known
Chipping practice takes up a large portion of my time, but it’s beautiful!
If you are the only person who knows your goals, it’s easier to forget them, make them easier, or sabotage yourself in another way. If you make your goals known, now you have some outside accountability. You will also have people rooting for you. Yes, others will know if you fail, but you are MUCH more likely to accomplish your goals if you tell other people. And you can’t be afraid of failing!
I’ve been talking about leaving Accenture to go to a startup, travel, or start my own business for YEARS. Life was good and I wasn’t working hard enough to make a real change. I realized that I needed to set a deadline and tell some people. It would force myself to take action.
Back in the spring of this year (2018), I decided my last day at Accenture would be November 1. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do after November 1, but telling people this date lit a fire under my seat and I ended up leaving work a month before my self-imposed deadline. Now I’m on this great journey.
Michelle and I try to share our weekly and monthly goals with each other. Getting a significant other, friend, or sibling to do it with you definitely makes it easier!
Moving to a new city as an adult isn’t easy. It’s hard enough finding your way around and getting used to a new routine. And to really enjoy the place you have to make friends.
My brother and me in Savannah (en route to Florida) with some locals we met in a park
A couple weeks ago I moved from DC to Florida for the winter so I could play golf every day and try to go pro. I’m staying at my parents apartment and my 24 year old brother made the trip down with me. The community is mostly made up of retirees and the average age is above 70. We were eating lunch when an older dude sat next to us at the bar and started chatting. Before we even exchanged names he welcomed us to the neighborhood and invited us to dinner with his wife and another couple that night.
It would have been easy to come up with an excuse to decline but we accepted and had a great and unique experience.
A quick thank you
I just wanted to thank everyone who goes out of their way to help make others feel welcome. Personally, I have been extremely fortunate to have met many who have invited me to dinners, parties, vacations, events, and countless other activities that have made great memories. It is because of you that I have had such a good time in my post-college life.
Try to have unique experiences
I’m a HUGE believer in having unique experiences. Ever since I moved to DC 5 years ago I’ve tried to be a “yes” man as much as possible. Unique experiences are easier to remember, stand out, and make life more exciting.
Sometimes it’s a trip to the UAE with a couple friends and some others you don’t know when you find a glitch $200 round trip flight. Other times it’s going as a plus one to a roommate’s Tinder brunch date on 10 minutes notice. We are primed to say “no, thank you” when there’s an unexpected invite, especially when we don’t have the time to think it through. But saying “yes” to these has created some of my best memories.
Unique experiences don’t have to be expensive trips or odd activities
A few weeks after I moved to DC I did a Tough Mudder with my friend, Sean (green shorts), and met Jon (next to me), who is now a great friend
Something as mundane as eating dinner with new friends can be a unique experience. But it could be something as simple as going to a party where you only know 1 person, going to karaoke with a random group you met at a bar, sitting next to someone at the coffee shop instead of alone, cooking something new with friends, signing up for a Tough Mudder, or even pulling over during your commute to watch a great sunset.
Back to my dinner – How many times have you eaten with someone 40-50 years older than you, who wasn’t a coworker/boss, relative, the relative of a friend, or the friend of a relative?
In each of those situations, the other person has a persona to fit into. But because we had no outside connection we let our guard down and hung out in a way none of us had ever done before. Politics, travel, regrets, changing policies, and life achievements/goals were all discussed. They even invited us to their apartment after dinner for dessert and coffee, and to introduce us to their dog!
People in their 20s can really be friends with those in their 70s.
Making Friends
The easiest place to meet people is at college. Everyone is your age, at the same stage of life, doing the same activities, and you all live together.
But it gets harder as you get older.
When I moved to DC, at 24, I only had a few friends. They were all in their last year of law school and had their own friends. My roommate was also new to DC and in a similar situation.
Almost all of us were randos who were assigned to the same volleyball team. 3 years later we are still together and I have to miss playoffs next week!
I quickly realized that if I wanted to have fun in the new city I needed to meet as many people as possible. I started meeting people on the basketball court at the gym, parties, and through friends of friends of friends. We went to each other’s friends’ parties, joined intramural sports leagues, and went to each others’ work happy hours.
I had always had similar friends growing up and in college. There’s nothing wrong with that, but in DC I started meeting people who were different. They were older/younger, had different careers, different backgrounds, etc, and it was amazingly eye-opening to spend time with people who have different experiences than me. They see the world differently and gave me additional perspective, in addition to a larger pool of potential friends.
Before I moved to DC, I only knew 2 people in this photo, taken on my 27th birthday.
Be “down” and inclusive
When you’re post-college and trying to make new friends it’s different than building a bond over a decade or 2 as a child. You aren’t forced to see these people every day in school and your parents don’t organize playdates. People are also much busier, so there are fewer opportunities to hang out.
That’s why its super important to be “down.” People like those who are willing to do things with them. This is how you get invited to the next thing. And if you keep declining offers they will stop coming!
I felt a little awkward when that first dude in DC invited me over to hang out with him and his girlfriend 2013. Jon and I had just met a few days earlier, but now he wanted me to come over to his apartment? What a weirdo! But I went.
That hangout turned into countless dinners, activities, trips, and new friends. He ended up becoming one of my best friends and I was even a groomsman in his wedding a few weeks ago.
I met Jon at the Tough Mudder when I first moved to DC. I was recently a groomsman in his wedding.
Accepting invitations is great, but extending invites is even better. It feels great when someone invites you to something even if you don’t want to go. Make people feel wanted and invite them, especially when there’s no cost. Have BIG birthday parties and invite those random people who you once exchanged numbers with but never ended up hanging out. Invite that guy you like but aren’t close with to watch the game when you were planning on watching it alone. It helps you build a relationship and makes it normal to chat more often. Soon you’ll have friends for all activities in your life; gym buddy, fellow foodie, sous chef, single going-out PIC, etc.
Summary and takeaways
Moving to a new city has a lot of challenges, but making new friends and enjoying your time shouldn’t be one of them. Hopefully I’ll be able to write a similar post about my new friends in Boca in a few months!
Try to have unique experiences because they are more memorable, fun, and make life exciting.
Be “down” when you get invited to things, even if don’t think it will be super interesting. Most of the time you’ll be glad you went.
Invite your new friends to hang out and participate in activities, even if you don’t think they would want to go. Everyone likes to feel wanted and sending an invite is an easy way to do that.
As you know, I recently started a year long journey practicing and playing golf. I wanted to give myself the best shot at making big strides in a short period of time so I adopted a data-driven approach to improving my overall game. While this post is specific to improving my golf game, the approach can help improve anything. The three fundamental components are:
Understand what to focus on to maximize impact
Track current results/mistakes so you can make adjustments
Get the right help so you get the experience/knowledge of an expert
Understanding what to focus on
No matter what you do, it’s important to have data so you can perform some kind of analysis. If you’re a manufacturer it might be how long each step of the process is. If you’re in client services it might be ROI. It could be calculated by how much money you earn compared to how much time you spend on each client. You would see how valuable each client is on a per hour basis and could make adjustments to how you spend your time.
I wanted to figure out what part of my game I should focus on so I started keeping detailed notes of each shot. I tracked the club, distance, quality of shot, if it went left or right, etc. After each round I entered the data into a spreadsheet. This is what my typical scorecard looked like.
This is what my typical scorecard looks like after a round.
After just a few rounds I had some actionable data. The most eye-opening visual I created showed how often I use each club in my bag.
This shows how often I use each club. Please note, while collecting the data I marked the putter down for “1” even if I had 2 or 3 putts, so the putter circle should be about twice as big.
Everyone says the short game is the most important part of golf. I, like most others, was spending most of my time taking full swings on the range. This visualization had an immediate impact. I only practiced pitching, chipping, and putting for a few weeks. That small amount of focused practice drastically improved my short game, and I’ve seen the results on my scorecard.
Tracking mistakes to improve
Hypothetically, let’s say your subordinate comes over and says “I’m sorry, I just can’t get this right. I keep messing up.” You might say something like “let’s take a look,” and start to diagnose what’s wrong. The important thing is that it helps to know how you’re messing up, so you can figure out what to adjust.
In golf, some common “mistakes” are hooking and slicing, and pushing and pulling the ball. All of these are caused by different “mistakes” and knowing how you mess up makes it easier to make the right adjustments.
It’s clear from the charts below that my typical mistake is a hook/draw (these were measured compared to my attempted ball flight. So if I tried to draw the ball and it drew the amount I wanted, I marked it down as straight).
This chart shows how often the ball curves left or right in the air for each club.
This chart shows how often the starts too far to the right or left for each club.
Getting the right help
Golf, like many other things, is very nuanced and technical. It’s important to get the right help so you know that the changes you make are actually going to cause improvements. This is consulting, and I like to view any lessons, coaching, training, or service as such. A consultant works with you. The answer is not one-size-fits-all, and the consultant is there to be your expert. Doctors, lawyers, personal trainers. They all should have recommendations and a plan catered to your needs.
From the charts above and below, you can see that my shot quality was not consistent, so I asked around and got a few recommendations for coaches. One stood out and I’m currently working with him. We’ve been working specifically on not hooking the ball and having a lower trajectory, both of which will help my game. Hopefully I can post a new and improved chart in a few weeks!
This shows my shot quality for each club.
One last chart
This last chart shows one reason why I chose golf for this journey. A lot of sports these days require you to be a physical specimen who has genetic gifts. Read The Sports Gene: Inside the Science of Extraordinary Athletic Performance if you’re interested in going into more detail (thanks for the rec, Shane!). In golf you just need to hit the ball straight and the correct distance. The one physical benefit you can have is hitting the ball far. That I can do.
This shows how far I hit each club.
Key Takeaways
If you want to get better at something, merely putting in hours is not the best approach. Get whatever data you can, do some analysis, and see what you can improve, and how you can improve.
“Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect” – Vince Lombardi
Focusing on where and how to improve will help you have the best value impact with your time and money. This, with the help of an expert, is a great approach for getting better at anything.
Please feel free to comment or email me at rosenbergmaxa@gmail.com if you have any questions or want help collecting data and doing your own analysis, even if it’s something completely different than golf!
I get a lot of comments from people when I tell them I’m leaving my job to follow a dream. The first is “I didn’t know you were that good,” which I have some thoughts about here. The second has to do with how I can afford to not work for a year. This post will share what I did to prepare for my life change, and while this example is unique to me, everyone can find ways to lower expenses.
But first, a thought experiment: A dollar is always a dollar
Let’s say you just bought a soda for $1 from a store 10 minutes away. When you get home, you realize that they charged you $11 instead of $1. Do you go back to the store to ask for your $10 back?
Now let’s say you just bought a car from a dealership 10 minutes away for $40,000. When you get home, you realize they tacked on a $10 service fee that they hadn’t told you about. Do you go back to the dealer to ask for the $10 back?
Most people would go back for the soda but not for the car because of the relative size of the injustice. But at the end of the day both situations leave you with the same question. Do you want an extra $10 in your pocket?
So how do you get ready to give up your income for a year?
This photo is by rawpixel on Unsplash
I didn’t just decide to leave my job to pursue a dream. I started pursuing the dream while I still had my job. Eventually, it got to the point where I needed to make a bigger commitment than my job allowed, and at that point I had already changed my spending habits to reduce my expenses.
My cost cutting goal
My goal was to change as few habits as possible while maximizing my reduction in expenses. I didn’t want to have to make dozens of mildly painful decisions to not buy something that I wanted. I planned to make just a couple of changes that would have a big impact. (Check out Dollars and Sense by Dan Ariely for a great read about how we misthink about money if you’re curious about what guided my logic).
Planning
My typical monthly expenses in the spring of 2017
A few years ago I had a master suite (with 2 roommates) in a new apartment building on 14th street, was single and went out a lot, and went on a lot of trips. I said “yes” to everything, which resulted in a very exciting life, but also an expensive one.
My monthly expenses, not including trips, were between $3,000 and $3,500 per month. Saving $1.50 on eggs by going to Safeway instead of Whole Foods was not going to make a difference.
Changing spending habits
Now, a lot of people will tell you that this is the time to skip the guac at chipotle, clip coupons for the grocery store, and start shopping at Marshalls.
While these will allow you to save for smaller purchases like new Allbirds, they won’t give you the freedom to make a big life change.
Look at it this way. You can save $2.50 each time you skip guac at Chipotle. If you have 8 visits, that saves $20. But, you didn’t get to enjoy the guac, and you had to make the slightly painful decision to skip it on 8 separate occasions!
What would be an easier, faster, and less painful way to save $20 over the course of a month?
I was going out about twice each week, or 8 times each month. If you’re with 1 friend or on a date, each round of drinks is about $20. Deciding to not buy that additional round just 1 time saves $20 with a single decision. If you skip it all 8 times, thats a total of $160 of savings each month. You can even skip the bar entirely and grab a 6-pack instead. But there are better ways to cut costs!
Lower your expenses by focusing on the biggest impact
In April 2018 I moved into a 470 square foot studio with my girlfriend, Michelle, and her cat, Tucker. This brought my rent/utilities/parking total down from $1,850 per month to $850 per month. That single decision saved me $1,000 per month! That’s the same as:
guac 400 times
a round of drinks 50 times
a $200 dinner 5 times
a round trip international flight
rent and utilities for a month while I am not working
You can see below that the driving factor for my overall spending is lowering my biggest expenses, which is rent/utilities/internet. Making a significant dent in any other category would take a lot of effort, and for me, wouldn’t have the same impact as significantly lowering my rent. For you it might be rent, but it could also be a car, club or gym membership, or something else (I did make additional lifestyle changes which you can see below).
My average monthly expenses from Mint.com
How to lower rent without moving in with your significant other
Not everyone can or should move in with a significant other (THIS SHOULD NEVER BE A FINANCIALDECISION!). Michelle and I were going to move in together at this point in the relationship, but we decided that I would move into her small apartment, rather than move into a larger/more expensive one.
You can usually find less expensive living accommodations if you’re willing to make some sacrifices. When I first moved to DC I was paying about $1,900 per month, which I quickly realized was way too much. At the end of that lease I moved in with 2 friends and my new rent/utilities were about $900 per month. I was still in a good location with a doorman, and had a roof with grills, tv’s, a pool, and a hot tub. BUT I slept in a fake room with poor airflow and had to walk through my roommate’s room to use the bathroom (thank you Bradley!). Nobody chooses to live like that, but it saved me $1,000 per month!
The bottom line here is you should be open to living with roommates, moving to a less convenient location, living in an older building, or taking the fake bedroom if you want to put a real dent in your rent.
Summary and takeaways
Before I decided to try to be a golfer I toyed with the ideas of traveling for a year or trying to start a business. While the purpose of leaving work would have been different, the planning and action that I took is largely the same and can be a template for anyone who wants to cut costs to travel, start a business, or even have a mini-retirement.
Going back to the thought experiment, fighting for $20 off your monthly rent is the same as getting a $40 scarf for 50% off. $20 doesn’t seem like a lot when it’s a part of your rent, but it’s still $20 dollars, Don’t forget that!
If you get anything out of this post, let it be the following:
Determine your largest costs and how you can cut them
Try to exhibit self control when it isn’t painful
Get the guac
Additional lifestyle changes
My other major lifestyle change was to go out less and cook more. I went out less because I had a girlfriend and a great group of friends, so I wasn’t trying to meet people like when I first moved to DC or when I was single.
Below, you can see that my alcohol and bars expenses have been going down for years, while groceries have been creeping up slightly.
This shows my average monthly expenses for dining, drinks, and groceries taken from Mint.com
How to display your expenses like I did above
Sign up for Mint.com and link your credit card/bank accounts.
Go to the “trends” tab and select the largest category.
Sort the expenses from largest to smallest.
Check the expense category for the largest expenses to make sure Mint.com allocated the expense to the correct category – I’ve had a restaurant show up as an auto expense.
If you find an expense that is allocated incorrectly, click “edit details,” and create a rule to allocate all similar expenses to the correct category so you only have to make the change once.
Do this for the other categories until you’re comfortable that the largest expenses are all properly allocated. There’s no need to correct the small expenses because they won’t make a difference with the overall trends and it will take a lot of time.
Go to the trends “over time” and filter by category. You can export the data to excel and make graphs there if you like.
I used Tableau Public to create these graphs. You can sign up for free here.
I’m almost 30 years old and took a leave of absence from my consulting job October 1 for 12 months. One major focus is golf with an ultimate goal to play professionally in the future.
The first thing most people say is “I didn’t know you were that good.”
Well, I’m not. Not yet, at least. And the more I think about the statement, “I didn’t know you were that good,” the more it puzzles me. Keep on reading!
